This might not be good grammar, but try imagining it in a 90’s hip-hop, wave your hands in the air, voice. “The yes don’t stop, stop.” That works, doesn’t it. Sorry. I’ll get serious now.
In February of 2013, I felt God calling my family to international adoption from Africa. My husband and I spent the next several months figuring out “What do we do now?” and “What does this mean for our family?” One of the first things I read about was cocooning. The idea is that you bring your child home, and they are new to the country, new to family life, new to you, ect. Basically everything is new, and you want to kind of huddle down at home and let them bond with you before you take them out into the world which has even more newness. I was excited when I read about cocooning. I couldn’t wait for this to happen. Why? Because I am a yes-er. Ask me, I’m probably going to say yes. I will admit that I run myself ragged. I’m a people pleaser, and it’s a struggle. I loved the idea of having such a deep and wonderful reason to say “No, I’ve got to be cocooned at home.”
We applied for our adoption in March of 2013, and I fully expected we would have our little boy within 18 months. So then I started to be scared of loosing my “yes.” I’ve got a full on “yes” addiction. Two things, I was naive about international adoption and Ethiopian adoptions have slowed and are continuing to slow.
So with my fear of losing my “yes” (The same “yes” I didn’t even want in February.) I thought I better say “yes” to EVERYTHING now because in a few months, I’ll be saying “no” to everything. So I did. I taught home school co-op classes, I led women’s Bible study in my home, I rode my bike in the neighborhood delivering lunches, I planned classes for Citychurch moms, I went to Ethiopia. I could go on because I was high on “yes” saying. My only criteria was, would this advance the kingdom of God at all, even an inch, then “Yes! I’ll do it.”
(Disclaimer here: This isn’t a blog post about priorities of the Christian woman or mother. There are plenty of books and blogs addressing that, and it an important issue that you should wrestle with and lean to God to lead you in the right direction.)
So now it has been almost two years since God gave me that call to adopt from Africa, and I am still waiting on my little boy. We spent the last year on the waiting list and the 10 months prior that completing the home study and paperwork required for our dossier.
Obviously I am still saying “yes” because here I am on the leadership team for IF:Amarillo. But God is also showing me something through this team.
My new friend Kaylie Hodges is also on the IF:Amarillo Leadership team. The first meeting I had to discuss planning this IF:Gathering, she had only been home two weeks from a trip to Uganda to adopt not one little boy, but two little Ugandan boys. She was in the trenches of cocooning. Nevertheless, she was at the meeting saying “yes.”
I was just meeting Kaylie for the first time. So I couldn’t say, “Are you sure you want to do this? Don’t you need to go home and cuddle your boys?”
I’m pretty embarrassed to lay my thoughts out here like this, but that was what I was thinking.
I even thought, “She’s going to have her hands full and need to step down.”
That thought is even more embarrassing!
It has been three months since that first meeting. I want to brag on Kaylie. She’s been one of the strongest links in our team. She’s been hard at work getting the word out about IF, managing IF:Amarillo’s FaceBook, going on Grace Radio, getting this blog started, visiting churches. But even more than the physically working. She’s been spiritually working. She’s never wavered in her faith that God was calling us to plan this event and that He was going to lead us and provide. She’s also been praying over the names of the women who have registered to attend this event. If you’ve registered, Kaylie has been praying for you. That just makes me mushy inside. I love it.
I’ve still got a wait ahead of me before I will have my little Ethiopian boy to snuggle and love on, but God is teaching me that when that time comes, He is still going to need my “yes.”
The other thing I have learned looking back at all my “yeses,” is that the end product of every single one of those decisions was a big blessing to me. I grew and learned and made friends every time I stepped out and did something for God’s Kingdom. It wasn’t something that I gave God. It always turned out to be something that God gave me.
Is there something that you feel God is asking you to do? If God is asking, say “yes.” I promise you will be blessed.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:6-8 ESV
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