Beer is made out of horse pee.
It's so hilarious because it is totally believable. It looks like it could be true, and almost every beer tv commercial in the 80's featured a cowboy or a running horse in a field. And just think of the froth.
James's dad hated beer. He had come from an alcoholic home where his dad would leave for periods of time to party and come home mad at everyone. He said he would always be gone for nearly a week and then come home in a new pair of Levi's, kick the furniture around, and yell at everyone, "Where in the hell have you been?"
So the beer = horse pee lie probably seemed like a good idea.
Just like the old summer camp lies of lean on the counter and you'll get a rash or pee in the pool and it will turn blue, it's prevention of behavior through silly dishonesty.
So when James started telling our kids that beer was horse pee at an early age, I went along with it. Because funny trumps almost everything in my head and I'm not a fan of beer either.
Just like James and his brother and sister, our kids totally believed it. Our oldest, Lucy, is a smart one. She figured out our falsehood pretty quickly. Our middle child, Andrew, doesn't question things the way Lucy did. Which lead to a pretty awkward family reunion encounter. Sorry, Aunt Jackie!
Aunt Jackie (with horror on her face and a beer in her hand): Did you tell him that beer was horse pee?
Andrew: IT IS!
Me: Um..... I did. Well. Um.
I still feel pretty bad about that one. But it was funny. And funny trumps almost anything, Right? If you know my Aunt Jackie, I think she probably agrees with me. She laughs more than anyone I know.
Now that you know I lied to my kids about beer, you probably think I'm a parenting genius or a you might be considering reporting me to CPS. Either way, my kids are going to have a pretty tough time not thinking about horse pee the first time someone offers them a cold one.
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